Meanwhile, in Kansas

You can't make up stuff like this: Police give man amputated foot back.

Ezekiel Rubottom now has his left foot back exactly where he wants it - in a bucket on the front porch. The 21-year-old man's foot was amputated three weeks ago after a series of medical problems, and he started keeping it in a five-gallon bucket filled with formaldehyde. After a friend picked up the bucket at a hardware store, Rubottom added several objects as well as the severed foot - including a porcelain horse and can of beer - to make what he called "a collage of myself." He also cut off two of the toes, saying he was considering giving them to friends.

Little League Lockdown

WVLT reports that there's a war going on between Lenoir City mayor Matt Brookshire and pee-wee football league parents. Apparently, there are two pee-wee football leagues in Lenoir City, one is city sanctioned and one is free. Allegedly the city Mayor is trying to shut down the free league and force everyone to pay, with profits going to the city coffers. Angry parents claim the mayor has made calls keeping them from practicing or playing games anywhere in Lenoir City. On Wednesday, there was a suspicious fire in the fieldhouse at the field where the free league was having their games, causing $80,000 worth of damage and destroying all the equipment. Parents claim that when they put in an order for replacement equipment, the mayor called the company and cancelled the order. Bizarre.

Greased Palms

I reckon our beloved Congressmen decided gas prices are not over the pain threshold yet. As Exxon Mobil Corporation reported a 32% increase in quarterly profits, our elected representatives (well, GOP ones anyway) went and decided to help poor energy companies with a $25 billion ($25,000,000,000) handout in tax breaks, guaranteed loans and direct spending. Among the handouts was $1.5 billion was a fund for an energy consortium based in House Majority Leader Tom DeLay's Texas district.

Pixelated Private Parts

A woman from New York is suing the makers of "Grand Theft Auto" video game, because she bought the game to her 14-year old grandson without knowing the game contains hidden, sexually explicit material. This suit is simply ridiculous.
First of all, the game, even in its unmodified form, is already rated "M", and contains material definetely not suitable for 14-year-olds, such as explicit language, drug dealing, prostitution, crime and graphic violence. If this suit doesn't get thrown out, it would serve the woman right if she was charged with endangering a minor.
Secondly, the sexually explicit scenes in the game are not available off the shelf, but have to be "unlocked" by downloading an unauthorized, and possibly illegal, piece of software off the Internet and modifying the game code. If someone claims that a kid who has the know-how to locate such a modification on the Internet and install it on their computer is not capable of finding plenty of online porn is lying through their teeth.
This GTA controversy seems to have resulted in a feeding frenzy against the videogame industry. Even a popular game with no violence or foul language, The Sims 2, is being targeted by these self-appointed censorship advogates.

Eat Mor Chikin

It was only a matter of time: USDA is investigating the 3rd possible mad cow disease case in the U.S. This time it's not a Canadian import bovine, but a 12-year old domestic cow. USDA tells us not to worry, because this animal never entered human or animal food chain. Alrighty, then.

Less Fortunate Ones

Anyone whose idea of a homeless person is a bag lady or a wino would do well to read a new study about homelessness in Knoxville area in 2004 released by The Knoxville Coalition for the Homeless.

Displacements

Wife and I got woken up 1:30am last night by a phone call from the DCS. The lady began her spiel before my brain kicked in. They were looking for a foster home for "two Caucasian males, aged two years and six months, the younger was in the hospital with a broken collar bone". She rattled off their dates of birth while my rational mind was waging war with my heart. Sure, we'll be on our way, I wanted to say, but we just couldn't take in two more toddlers; there weren't enough beds, not enough baby seats, not enough time. We offered to take the kids just for tonight, or for a couple of days, knowing that was against DCS policy. She gave a resigned sigh and apologized for waking me up. "I'm so sorry," I replied. Sleep was long time coming after that.

Wink Wink

In the series "Totally Cool But Useless Science", BBC reports that parts of our brain shut down every time we blink. Scientists at University College of London claim this happens so that we don't freak out when the world goes dark 10-15 times a second.

10-79

In breaking news, Associated Press warns us about impending Satanic outbreak. Apparently, Nashville police received 46 out of over 1,000,000 calls on "occult activity" over a two year period (and only a "handful" of these resulted in any action). The Tennessean informs us that "occult activity" has even its own police code, 10-79, like robbery or shooting! Allegedly, if such "occult activity" is directed against someone with "alternative lifestyle", police also determine whether a hate crime has been committed. We are left guessing whether they are referring to gays or (gasp) Wiccans.
The articles also quote a 2003 police report that says "two dogs look like cattle that have been butchered and prepared for consumption. Unknown if this is occult activity or an attempt to prepare a meal." The police report does not indicate whether this incident occurred in the vicinity of an oriental restaurant, but I'm certainly relieved that the fair and balanced mainstream media keeps me up to date about culinary endeavors of alternative lifestyles!
Meanwhile, in New York City, two teens who beat up a self-professed Satanist are sentenced to community service over the objections of the prosecutors. Apparently, the judge in the case agreed with the defendants' attorney, who stated "it's just a case of some kids acting dumb and beating up another kid who was a bit of an oddball". I wonder what the outcome would've been if the defendants had been Satanists, and the victim a Christian?

The Goose And The Gander

It'll be fun to watch Microsoft lawyers explain to the judge why Windows Vista is kosher, but Lindows is not.

The Ultimate Unsubscribe

(Via Reality Me!) What happens when you piss off an entire country? Vardan Kushnor, Russian's biggest spammer, got a major dosage of karma by being bludgeoned to death in his own apartment in Moscow. Allegedly, in addition to spamming his countrymen with impunity, Kushnor flicked the finger to Russian government officials as well. Not a bright idea.

Regulatory Service Cost Recovery Fee

If you're unlucky enough to get your phone or broadband internet via HellSouth, prepare to loosen your purse strings again. It seems HellSouth's profits fell 20% due to purchase of AT&T Wireless. The monopoly carrier also managed to sell only 60% of projected DSL lines during the 2nd quarter. Expect major lobbyist whingeing in Tennessee Regulatory Commission offices in Nashville.

Stuck Up At Jellico Again

Our family spent about an hour yesterday evening stuck on I-75S at mile marker 139 because of a wreck involving four tractor-trailers. A semi hit three other tractor-trailers and two cars, then caught fire near milemarker 135.
There was no information to be received about the accident via radio. We finally spoke to a helpful semi driver, who told us that the interstate might be blocked for 2-3 hours. So we took a turn over the median, headed back to exit 144 and took SR25 to La Follette.
I-75S between Huntsville-Oneida (exit 141) and Caryville (exit 134) is a speedway for tractor-trailers. From top of the Jellico Mountain, it's downhill all the way to Jacksboro exit, and there are only two or three spots where THP patrols can set up a speed trap. Semitrucks take full advantage of this, and it's not uncommon to see two eighteen-wheelers barreling side by side 90 miles an hour down the mountain. Maybe if they'll put a donut shop at the new exit 156 on top of Jellico Mountain we'll see increased THP enforcement.

Military Musical Chairs

Gunner (via SayUncle) has read the new Patriot Act extension and reports that the act dumps a shitload of money and personnel to our Canadian border, and none to our Mexican border. Could this be a follow up to the massive shift of military resources from the Northeast to the Northwest?

Good Deal For Dead People

Phonespammers are just full of goodwill these days: Should your loved one pass away, a mere $1 one time fee will put the name of the deceased on a "do-not-call-me-i-am-dead" list that's supposed to prevent you from being offered mortgage refinancing or low interest rate credit card in the middle of the wake. Well, ain't that special.

Phonespammers Unite

Dang telemarketers are at it again, trying to stretch a loophole in Federal Do Not Call law into a black hole. A coalition of marketdroids is trying to convince the FCC that it's too hard for them to follow individual state laws, and instead, they should have to only obey the federal law. Well, boo-hoo. Adhering to state laws is really simple: Do not call me, ever. If I need something, I'll call you.
More information at EPIC.org.

Somebody's Gotta Pay

A case of justice paid for, or a personal vendetta? Two grand juries refuse to indict a man for death of another in a boating accident in Dayton, Tennessee. The father of the victim doles out $47,000 the prosecutor couldn't afford to produce a computer animation of the incident, and finally the grand jury delivers the goods, a charge for criminally negligent homicide. The District Attorney says there was no evidence of any motive for the crash, but adds that the charge does not require a showing that the crash was intentional. The father of the man killed says "My son is not going to be killed on the lake and somebody not having to be accounting for it".

Out Of The Shadows

Two Republican senators from Texas and Arizona are ready to throw in the towel on illegal immigration. The proposed bill would "strike between plugging the nation's porous border while maintaining a flow of workers to businesses hungry for cheap labor". As if those factors aren't interdependent!
The carrot would be a "mandatory departure" program that would give illegal immigrants time to leave voluntarily, and then possibly return to work legally through a temporary-worker program. The key word here is "possibly" -- there are no guarantees that there will be temporary worker visas for all illegal immigrants. The stick would be unspecified "tougher penalties for employers who hired undocumented workers".
Bushites are torn between greed and xenophobia; whether to risk Hispanic incursion to have access to cheap labor. Hispanics are projected to overtake blacks as the nation's largest minority group this year. With several close elections recently, Hispanics have acquired reputation as the "swing voter" group, courted by both parties.
For me, the proposed bill reads like "ok, you keep on breaking into my house; I can't keep you out, so I'll just give you the keys if you promise to come only three times and then stay out. Deal?"

Maryville 500

Well, here's a night of redneck fun: According to police reports, a pair of intoxicated revelers from Maryville decided to go nascar all by themselves and headed out to Smokey Mountain Speedway in their pickup truck. On the second lap the driver lost control, and the truck hit the wall and flipped over. One of the culprits was undeterred by the unscheduled pit stop and proceeded to steal a 40-year-old Massey Ferguson tractor. Both speedfreaks were later apprehended.

Who Shot S.K.B.?

I guess it's official, SKB is gone. Half-Bakered has an interesting eulogy. Speculation is still going on whether the blog's demise was a suicide or a murder.

Rocket Men

Google is getting sillier by the day. Today, we can start enjoying Google Moon. For fun, zoom close to the surface. Those whacky googlites!

Could Have Been Worse

GWB must have awakened to the fact that most Americans are not rabid religious wingnuts; the freshly baked SCOTUS nominee John Roberts is not the right-wing firebrand ultra-conservative mullahs were hankering for.

The Force Is No Longer With Us

It's funny (and sad) how addicted I've become to receiving my information "fix" every day. When my favorite blog goes offline, I keep on hitting refresh on the browser with the hope it'll pop up. Much like when the satellite TV blacks out due to weather, instead of getting off the couch to do something productive, I stare at the "Searching for satellite signal..." message for an hour, because I know it's going to come back on, any second now.
UPDATE: Say Uncle reports that SKB has stopped blogging. I certainly hope not!
UPDATE: I felt a great disturbance in the blogosphere, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and suddenly silenced:

Message received from Bubba:

I'm quitting. Getting to be too much like work and I'm just tired of all the hassles. Thanks for reading and thanks for your support.

Cheers!
SKB

Supreme Court Cannon Fodder

Jack Balkin's new book What Roe v. Wade Should Have Said has a ton of food for though (via Hokie).

In Case You Ran Out Of Ammo

You find the weirdest information in blogosphere: Say Uncle tells how a Walmart sporting goods department associate heard from the supplier that the US military has ordered 300,000,000 rounds of 5.56 NATO spec ammunition and most manufacturers have stopped making civilian ammo to help the military out. Yep, 300 million rounds. If there's any truth to it, either DoD got heck of a deal and is stocking up, or we won't be needing to wait our troops to get home anytime soon.

Investigating The Investigation

Scott McClellan, the White House Press Secretary, channels Donald Rumsfield:

"Because there's an investigation continuing at this point, the appropriate people handling these issues are the people investigating this investigation."

(via Daily Kos)

The Fundie Brat Camp

Move over "Brat Camp", this would be a reality show to capture the Bushite audience (via No Silence Here).

Free Medical Care For Life

William Crutchfield, a 60-year-old electrical contractor from Snellville, GA, had $90,000 in medical debts and feared losing his home. Rather than end up living on the street sick and dying, he decided it was better to spend the rest of his days in a federal prison with free healthcare. To make sure his plan would work, Crutchfield waited for the mailman and then shot him seven times, nearly killing the man. Crutchfield plead guilty and is currently being kept in jail without bond.
When the congress passed the recent bankruptcy law "reform", many feared it would make bankruptcies life long debtor's prisons. A recent study found that more than half of people who filed for personal bankruptcy in five federal courts said the primary reason for their debts was overwhelming medical bills. I hope there are no William Crutchfields among the 93,000 recently cut off of TennCare.

May I See Your Resume, Mr. Terrorist?

Case and point: A THP trooper pulls over a van with sixteen illegal immigrants at Watt Rd, but a short time later immigration officials let all of them go on their merry way. Apparently, fourteen Brazilians and two Mexicans made it all the way from Texas to Tennessee before being caught. Local immigration attorney Anita Patel states that "this sort of thing happens all the time in the U.S. Immigration officials catch illegal aliens but don't have the budget to hold them in jail unless they're terrorists or aggravated felons".
"Unless they're terrorists"? One might think that being, say, a suicide bomber is not exactly a career, and I would imagine that Al-Qaeda would be smart enough to not try to send known terrorists to do their dirty deeds.
The local immigrations official told WATE news that his office only has six agents, so they simply don't have the manpower to catch all illegal immigrants that come through East Tennessee. How about starting to ship all illegals that are caught back across the border for starters?

It's Tipper Time Again

Seems like Senate Democrats have found their own Schiavo case. Hillary Clinton and Joe Lieberman are looking for hidden sex in a video game, and the ex-first lady is proposing draconian penalties for game retailers who sell to minors videogames (voluntarily) rated for adults. Dang it, didn't Hillary learn anything from Tipper Gore?

Finglish

Wife commented the other day that my accent has been getting a lot stronger lately... Doug at Reality Me! explains why. A priceless read!

Shopping For Some ID

WVLT reports that a New Jersey woman was busted by the FBI for shuttling illegal immigrants to Knoxville to get immigrants driver’s licenses. They must have some serious waiting-in-line fetish. Now, why would any illegal alien want to live in NJ instead of good ole Rocky Top? Might the Minutemen up in Morristown have anything to do with it?

Walk The Demons Out

Wife and I were watched a new reality show called Brat Camp on ABC last night. The show is about out-of-control teenagers, who get to sent to a Sagewalk, a "therapeutic program" for troubled teens in Oregon wilderness.
At first glange the program might be easy to classify as social porn that exploits children with sobbing and shivering teenagers and instructors with hokey "Earth Names" like "Mountain Glacier"; or derided as brain-washing. The excerpts from upcoming episodes let us to believe that there's going to be a happy ending, which would justify the somewhere between $15,000 and $20,000 per child cost for a 40 day course (the show doesn't mention fees, but Sagewalk's website has the fee schedule posted).
What I didn't like was the show's premise that all the kids in it were "brats". One of the kids was ADHD, and at least two of the kids were adoptive, and some had endured mental or physical distress. As a soon-to-be adoptive parents of a 4-year old ADHD child, wife and I were discussing how far would we go if our son would grow up to behave like the teenagers in the show. At what point do you admit that love is not enough?
It felt that some of the parents needed the boot camp more than their children -- I mean, what kind of parent lets their child hang out in the streets until 3am, drinking and using drugs? But I also know that parenting a child with severe emotional, psychological and behavioral problems wears you out over time, and eventually you feel relieved when the child is out of the house. By the time you figure out the kid is boozing, doing drugs and cussing you out, it may be too late.

J'Accuse

South Knox Bubba lets it rip in Mother of All Posts about the Bush administration. Worth a read, now and in 2008.

Meth Bust

Keven looked up from his tractors and excavators and saw the spacemen jog over the field towards his home. One of the spacemen walked up to Keven and smiled to him.
"Hi there", said the spaceman.
"Hi", said Keven, and that was the last he said for a long time. He was a little bit scared, but not as scared as during a thunderstorm, or when Mommy and Daddy were acting silly. Keven opened his mouth to ask the spaceman to play with him, but at that moment he saw Cop Cars down over at the driveway. Mommy had told Keven to be Real Quiet when Cops came around, just crawl under the table and hush.
The spaceman picked Keven up, and he got scared, but he was Real Quiet, just like Mommy told him. If he didn't stay still when Cops were around, Daddy would smack him, and worse.
Keven didn't make a sound when the spaceman took him to a Cop Car, didn't make a sound when they stripped his clothes off and had him take a scrubbing shower. The man gave Keven a green John Deere t-shirt, which was cool, and jeans that were too big. One of the Cops gave Keven a teddy bear, and he wanted to say thanks, but didn't dare to.
Keven didn't make a sound when Melissa (who was a nice lady with funny hair) took him up the Elly Water and to her office. The place had really loud walls, but Keven didn't speak a word, although he smiled a little when they brought him a Happy Meal. Melissa was on the phone for a long time, and then took Keven down the Elly Water, into a car and drove him to see a doctor. That was a little scary, when they were poking his ears and his mouth, and the doctor was trying to be silly, but Keven didn't say anything.
Then Melissa put Keven back to the baby seat and drove for a long time, but they didn't go back to the office. They come to another house that was brick with a shiny car and flowers and no trees, just bushes. Melissa picked her up, and they went to the door. When the other lady opened the door, she smiled, and the other man smiled too. The other lady picked Keven up, she smelled of cinnamon buns and ice cream, and hugged Keven.
It was then that Keven was no longer afraid of the Cops, so he threw his head back and screamed, and screamed, and screamed for his Mommy and Daddy.

Complaining For Fun And Profit

WATE TV reports that TennCare officials requested relief from unnecessary "medical services" appeals to control rising costs in the state's expanded Medicaid program. State officials say they receive about 3,500 appeals a month, many of which are trivial. They also say each appeal can lead to a hearing that could cost the state as much as $1,500 each. Umm... do they think that TennCare enrollees appeal just for the heck of it? You can get quite a chunk of medical services for $1,500, wouldn't it be cheaper to just provide the service in the first place?

Getting To The Bottom Of It

The thing about lies is, the more you tell them, the harder it becomes to keep your story straight.

Four Letter Word for CVS

WATE reports that CVS pharmacy on East Emory Road filled a kid's Ritalin prescription with methadone. Our family uses this pharmacy, and from our experience, I'm not surprised. This would be funny if it wasn't so serious: CVS never told 6 News why the mixup happened but did mention that the generic names for methadone and ritilin[sic] both start with the same four letters.

Keyhole

This site feels like rubbernecking in blogosphere.

New Plates

New specialty license plates to become available in Tennessee:

• Fellowship of Christian Athletes
  
• Nature Conservancy
  
• Big Brothers Big Sisters
  
• International Association of Firefighters
  
• Tennessee Wildlife Federation
  
• Eagle Scout
  
• Tennessee Foodbank Network
  
• Small Mouth Bass
  
• Friends of the Big South Fork National River & Recreation Area
  

Permiso Para El Terror

In the aftermath of the London terror strikes, we are reminded that the U.S. is clamping down on hassle-free travel from 27 so called "visa waiver" countries. Starting next year, passports issued from those countries are supposed to have a microchip storing extended biometric information (fingerprints etc.). After pissing off all Visa Waiver countries, if that's not enough to keep tourists and visitors out of the country, the new US-VISIT airport security system is mistakenly delaying and stopping dozens of legitimate travelers and airline employees.
At the same time, over 100,000 illegal, undocumented immigrants have been let into the U.S. and are unaccounted for because of a loophole in the immigration law, and because of insufficient space to house detainees. If a Mexican citizen crosses the U.S. border and gets caught, the person is deported within hours. But non-Mexican citizens who are detained are allowed to stay with a government-issued slip, known as "permiso". Some of these "OTM"s (Other Than Mexicans) are from Afghanistan, Iran, Pakistan, Yemen or other countries of "special interest" because of alleged sponsorship or support of terrorism. For example, Pakistani Farida Goolam Mahomed Ahmed was arrested last July at the McAllen, Texas, airport as she tried to board a plane to New York. She carried $7,300 in various currencies and a passport with pages missing. Agents later learned she waded across the Rio Grande and was let go by the Border Patrol.
The government estimates that there are estimates a cumulative 465,000 undocumented immigrants (visa overstays, illegal entrants and others unlawfully in the States). How many will it take to carry out an attack like we saw in London?

Drug 'em Up

The KNS reports that schools no longer can force parents to medicate "unruly" children. The Child Medication Safety Act barrs states and schools from keeping students out of class in cases when parents disagree with a recommendation to medicate a child.
But will this bill prevent schools from expelling, or discriminating against, a child whose parents refuse to administer school-"recommended" medication? Will this bill end government sponsored mental health screenings in high schools?

Work

Back at the dayjob, I realized how badly I needed the vacation.

On Vacation

Mowed the lawn, fixed a strech of fence, took the dog to the vet and the kid to his doctor's appointment, need to take the truck to the shop, being slammed by a tropical storm. Cell phone battery died, forgot the charger at work. Can't get better than this.

Offline in Margaritaville

First day of summer vacation, yay!

Spud, I Am Your Father

Darth Tater, once a promising young Jedi who lost his roots.

Mad Cow, For Real

In the category "you can't make this shit up": this could be a scene from "King of the Hill": A cow breaks loose from stockyard, a man tries to corral the bovine with a riding lawnmower and ends up in critical condition at a hospital.

Justice For All (With Enough Money)

Here's another example how a corporation can wantonly ruin the life of an ex-employee just because they have more money than the individual. In this case, an employee became aware of potentially illegal activity by the employer and sent a letter to the management. As a result, the management launched a retaliation lawsuit against the ex-employee, who is now close to bankruptcy due to legal bills trying to demonstrate the lawsuit is nothing but harassment.
A reader at Slashdot.org writes: "The justice system is a misnomer. It's not a "justice" system, it's a "legal" system. Justice would imply that all parties are acting in an informed, responsible, and full-capacity manner, which is probably the sickest joke one could make about our incompetent, bungling court system."
Tinfoil Hat Time: The lesson to be learned here is that if your dayjob involves dealing with any kind of intellectual property, before you quit your job, consult an attorney. Allegations of IP theft are practically impossible to defend against (usually requiring you to prove the negative; that you haven't stolen information). Spending $300 to have a lawyer draft your resignation letter is a lot cheaper than wasting $100,000 to defend yourself against a bogus lawsuit.