March Madness

In our house, "March Madness" does not stand for NCAA basketball. My son is bi-polar, and ever since he was four years old, he has had a major manic episode in March. It's like a flick of a switch. This year his episode started with a new tick, he started stuttering, very pronouncedly, the ends of words: "Starses-es-s-s"."Horseses-es-s-s". "Pick-ick-k-k". "Please-s-s-s-s". Then, overnight, his behavior at school went from exemplary to a series of meltdowns and space cadetry.

When he's manic, he talks endlessly. He just won't shut up, from the time he gets up to when he finally conks out. He barks, howls, yodels and sings to himself. He treats us with hour long monologues about clowns and Clone Troopers. He's unable to stay still; he twirls, twitches, bunny hops and bounces around. He mimics everything he sees, from commercials on the TV to strangers in the store. He makes the funniest impression of the "Shamwow Guy". He's a live action Looney Tunes character. He's having a jolly good time in his little manic universe, completely oblivious of the world around him. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad.

This morning he was in his room making groaning and gurgling noises. I asked what he was doing and he said he was "pretending to kill himself". I asked why and he said, in a matter of fact manner, "I was just wondering what it's like to die". I don't think he's suicidal as in depressed and wanting to end his life, but there's no telling what's going on in his head. He's maxed out on the dosage of his current medication, and the next step would be to upgrade to grown up level "zombie" meds. Maybe we'll ride through a few more years of March Madness.